As soon as I let go of who I am, I become what I can be.
– Lao Tzu
“NLP is all about learning mind control and manipulating people around you.”
“It’s for salespeople who want to trick you into buying things you don’t need or want.”
“It’s used to brainwash people.”
I’ve heard it many times.
That is A truth, for someone, somewhere. It’s not THE truth, which is both more mundane and more magical.
NLP - Neuro-Linguistic Programming, was developed in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler, a student of psychology, and Dr John Grinder, an Associate Professor of Linguistics at the University of California.
NLP became an evidence-based practice for human development and change following the work of highly acclaimed hypnotherapist, Milton Erickson; Gestalt Therapist, Dr Fritz Pearls; and Family Therapist, Virginia Satir
Unlike counselling and psychology which studies dysfunctional people, NLP studies the psychology of success and combines this with the latest developments in Neuroscience, Neuroplasticity, and Quantum Science.
All of this research is used to create proven processes, techniques and steps that allow the brain to transform. Allowing you to gain outstanding results and achieve success.
Oprah Winfrey, Tony Robbins, Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, André Agassi, Ashton Kutcher, Leonardo DeCaprio, Serena Williams, and Russell Brand are some of the more well-known people who use NLP techniques to create change in their lives and achieve great success as becoming familiar with NLP techniques empowers you to create real change.
The more mundane aspects of NLP allow you to learn about how your mind works and how you create your reality.
You can learn techniques that allow you to feel resourceful in unresourceful moments.
There are processes that turn your procrastination into motivation, and more processes that can alleviate phobia reactions, and help gain insight into other people’s behaviour.
The magical aspect of NLP is a road map for living your best life and creating an environment where others can also succeed.
The philosophy is based on studying what successful people believe and how they live their lives. Successful people understand that everyone deserves respect. We are all unique and consequently see the world differently.
How people make sense of the world around them is through their senses and from their own personal experience; this means that each individual’s perception of an event is different and valid.
NLP teaches us how understanding the language we use can lead us to understand how we process the world, and also how others do.
Everyone is doing the best there can in any given moment - in some moments, you are more resourceful than in others.
We learn from our past behaviour - and it is only through understanding the motivation for it that we can become more resourceful.
People’s behaviour always makes sense.
Given everything they have been through and what they have made it all mean, their reactions are perfectly logical.
However annoying and negative it feels to you.
Understanding this can allow you to stop reacting and move forward in the direction you wish to go.
There is no ‘good’ or ‘bad’ behaviour - intention and context are everything.
Nobody can make you feel anything - your feelings are a result of what you have made the situation mean.
This was so hard for me to accept - it made me responsible for the feelings of injustice, anger, victimisation, resentment, and blame.
The upside? I get to determine how I feel and how I get to behave.
Your mind affects your body, and your body affects your mind.
Both need to be treated with kindness and respect. Your thoughts create your reality. Your physicality affects your thoughts.
We are always communicating - even when we are silent - our energy and our body language reveal what we are feeling and thinking.
If what you are doing isn’t working, do something else. Changing your mind is not a sign of failure, it’s a sign of growth and new awareness.
Speaking of failure - it’s a great thing. A sign that you have tried, learnt - and are now ready to try something new. Brilliant!
Perseverance and flexibility create the perfect environment for success
Anything can be accomplished with baby steps - in fact, all successful people take many baby steps every day.
The past does not equal the future - no one is broken flawed, or defective.
Do you know what is the best of the past? It’s over. And the best of the future? You can do whatever you want. Things you haven’t even dreamed about yet because you were too busy replaying the past over and over again.
– Richard Bandler
It is fear from the past that creates the unresourceful behaviour of the present, leading to an undesirable future.
Most people continuously focus in all future situations on avoiding rejection, pain, abandonment, failure, tears, criticism …
What is that for you? What are you constantly avoiding, and in doing so, limiting your opportunities for your best life?
Perception is projection; the world reflects back to you what you expect to see.
People respond to their map of reality, not to reality itself.
Have you ever sat with a friend in need and spoken with them about all of the solutions they already have access to? Only to have them come up with a problem for every solution, incapable of seeing what is so clearly available to them?
Healing is not logical - you cannot think your way out of a feeling problem.
“You can never solve a problem on the level on which it was created.” ― Albert Einstein
As for manipulation - if you are interacting with someone else - you are already doing it.
We all do - all of the time. It is innate - my behaviour will influence you positively or negatively - as your behaviour will influence me.
The magic in the philosophy of NLP is that those who embrace, use their influence to create more choices and options for everyone.
While those who are driven by ego, use knowledge to try and gain power over others.
Each of us is responsible for ensuring we are making decisions and behaving in ways aligned with our values.
NLP gives us the tools to understand our own motivations and make informed choices.
It also allows us to understand the motivations of others, and to remain focused on what we need to do rather than be influenced by reaction and ego.
CAT VALENTINE IS A KEYNOTE SPEAKER, COACH AND TRAINER, WITH EXPERIENCE IN NLP, MATRIX THERAPIES AND IWAM TECHNIQUES. CAT ALSO HAS A BACHELOR OF SCIENCE, A DEGREE IN VISUAL ART AND A MASTER OF BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION.
SHE STATES, “MY PURPOSE IS TO SHARE WHAT I KNOW AND LEARN TO FACILITATE PROFOUND CHANGE FOR PEOPLE WANTING TO MOVE ON FROM EMOTIONAL TRAUMA AND PAIN.”
IF YOU ARE INTERESTED IN LEARNING MORE ABOUT LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE, JOIN US FOR THE SESSIONS FORTNIGHTLY TRANSFORMATION MASTERCLASSES