21 Jan 2022

Urgh - the beginning of every year is a minefield of shoulds, resolutions and expectations that we feel are placed on us. There is so much pressure every year to get it right - you should really know where it is that you want to go. You should really know how you're going to start and what you're going to do next. 

Plan. Plan. Plan.

It can feel like a school assignment - hopefully, this year I get a pass mark and can get the teacher (probably your bully mind) off my back for a while.

So much goal setting includes deadlines, even the word feels like bad juju.

How can you be tapping into your best life when there is such a lack of fun?

It should start with all of the energy that you want to feel on a daily basis, every day. If you don't have that when you start your plan, you are never going to get where you want to be.

So where does manifesting that whole best life thing start

The most effective way is the start where you want to finish, with the feelings.

Most people don't know what it is that they truly want.

They do know what it is that they want to feel. And this is where you start - at the end - with the feelings your best life is going to give you.

So how do you tap into how you want to feel?

I tap into what life feels like after I've achieved all the things that are going to give me my best life.

Remember, this is play - a lot of the time I don’t know exactly what those things are or how I achieved them. I can visualise how I feel when I achieve extraordinary news, while living in a beautiful space, surrounded by people I love and being free from fear.

So the first thing to do is awaken

Awaken to your best life

Imagine a time six or 12 months, after you have everything you could possibly want and spend four minutes a day in that space.

That's all, four minutes.

I have imagined a time where I have got the call that my worldwide workshop tour has been sold out. (I don’t have a worldwide workshop tour - yet)

I have imagined being a part of the transformation process that brought about world peace (and I’m not even a Miss World contestant - yet hahaha)

 I have literally been dancing in my seat with joy because of these experiences.

 That four minutes has awakened every cell in my body to how I want to feel.

My body now recognises that feeling and I can make choices that will take me either closer to that or further away.

It's really, really powerful.

It also really fires me up and excites me to get on with the day and do the things that might otherwise feel like chores - sitting at my computer when the call of a sunny beach day beckons.

Writing lists or making the calls - they are all navigating me closer to that ultimate feeling and now are so purposeful, they are no longer on the To-Do list. They are on the ‘Oh I am so looking forward to doing them’ list.

I feel so pumped and on purpose - I know that when I have done something that will move me closer to my vision I will still have plenty of time to play. And the play feels so good because it is not a procrastination or avoidance strategy. it is a time to be present and feel alive with joy.

So now you have awakened to the feelings.

Next - ask yourself,

“What would the person who achieved all of this believe about themselves?”

“What would they know is absolutely true?”

For example,  I am worthy of all that I wish for.  I am entitled to create my best life. My voice and my opinion matter. I can ask for help and freely receive it. There are always people who support my vision and my choices. Inspiration is constant and good ideas never stop flowing. I love the opportunities to speak about my passion and add more light to the world. My world is always filled with opportunities. I can live my best life every day.

You may at this stage not be able to see yourself embodying these beliefs. That's perfectly okay. Do you know of someone who has achieved a version of what you want for your life? What do you imagine they believe about themselves and their ability?

Then ask yourself where am I blocking these beliefs in myself?

It is in the answers the real journey to your best life starts - in the grit and honesty of your current roadblocks. This is where all of your wishes and plans come undone. Self-sabotage happens in the space between what you dream for yourself, and what you believe about yourself and the world around you.

Do you have a belief around not being capable, not being able to ask for help?

Or it might be a belief that it's better to not try because if you try you might fail and then people will judge you or you will judge yourself and you'll be ridiculed.

Is it unsafe to fail? Is it unsafe to succeed?

Do you have beliefs about what your friends and family will do if you make choices that are different to theirs?

Whatever it is, be absolutely vulnerable, authentic and honest because it is in here that the real work starts.

A belief is no more than an idea around which you have certainty. 

Once you have established this certainty, then your mind will look for the evidence to support the belief. It will always find it - even if it has to contort your experiences in the most fantastic way - if you believe the world is a hard place and reality sucks - then it is.

To dispel a belief that is not helping you live a life filled with love and light - look for evidence to disprove it. Look for instances, no matter how small, where that belief is not true. It could be as simple as making the bus when you thought you were going to miss it. 

These small events will change the certainty around any belief that isn’t serving you and help you move toward more resourceful beliefs.

The way out of a dark place is not immediately easy just because you have decided you want to change things. Your present situation is your present situation. 

The way out is to consider your options. Look at the areas of your life you want to change - relationships, family life, finances, career, health, personal development - whatever it is.

Choose one or two areas and consider your options. If the options all feel bleak - which is the least bleak. ( or in the words of Mike Dooley from The Universe talks -, what is the least suck option?) And go with that. 

After you have chosen a couple of options, write down the 1 thing you can do now to progress toward the feelings you want to feel.

What resources do you need? What help do you need? 

Start expecting the unexpected - once you start doing things you have never done b before, life will start presenting both obstacles and gifts you have never had before.

Brilliant - it’s all part of the process.

It’s only now - after awaken, ask and answer that you start writing time-based goals - working back from the end date.

Eg if I want to run a marathon in 12 months then in 9 months I need to run 30km; 6 months - half marathon; 3  months 10km - next week I need to be walking 3-5km 

Now you start putting in weekly and daily goals 

Asking yourself again - what resources do I need? what help do I need?

Will I allocate the time that I need? Will I prioritise the time that I need?

Let's be honest here.

Then you need to back yourself - how will stories and the influence of others derail or support me? Forewarned is forearmed.

Practice tapping into your intuition - being quiet - listening for that voice or feeling that comes when your gut, heart and brain are aligned. If it doesn’t feel right for you - then it isn’t right for you. It may be someone else’s goal or dream.

Are you free from the influence of others?

The big question - are these goals based in self love? 

Will achieving these goals add love and value to your relationship? Your family? Your community?

A best life - with all of the happy, fabulous light-based feelings, only comes if your goals for that life are based in love.

Revenge, resentment and anger do not create goals that will make you feel happy long term.

What are you willing to cut out of your life in order to create joy, harmony, bliss, and excitement?

Where are you willing to put boundaries in place so that your precious goals are protected and prioritised?

To create your best life you need strong energy and a determined, values-based mindset.

The bottom line is that if you do what you say you are going to do - you will transform your life.

No one creates their best life on their own - we all need support, encouragement and the odd push.

Finding a group of like-minded people is key.

Community is one of the reasons why I created the Sessions. I wanted to surround myself with people who were willing to live life authentically and with passion. All of us mess up, make mistakes, take 2 steps back and abandon ourselves.

I want people in my life who don’t judge themselves or each other. Who offers support, encouragement, love and a whopping sense of humour. All of this is supposed to be fun. 

If you are ready to make the change and don’t know where to start, find people who have been where you are and have learnt how to change it.

All of the people I know who are passionate about living a life of joy are people who have felt immense pain and loss. When the pain of staying the same became too great, we looked for something better - and found it. 

You are welcome to join us.

Cat Valentine is a keynote speaker, coach and trainer, with experience in NLP, Matrix Therapies and IWAM techniques. Cat also has a Bachelor of Science, a degree in Visual Art and a Master of Business Administration.
She states, “My purpose is to share what I know and learn to facilitate profound change for people wanting to move on from emotional trauma and pain.”
If you are interested in learning how to stop your fears controlling you, join us for The Sessions  fortnightly transformation masterclasses